Broken Home

Divorce. A big scary word. Something so common that you know the term and its definition, but something you believe could never happen to your family. "They are happy" you say to yourself "They only fight every once and a while" But so much goes on behind the surface of what you see. So many bad things happening behind the scenes. And you don't see it because the go on, day after day, plastering fake smiles on their faces and pretending everything is OK, just so you won't see. So you won't figure it out. But then the bad slips through the cracks, and they say "everything will be OK" and "we will work it out" But now you are terrified. The one thing that you thought could NEVER happen is now very much happening. And they believe they can work things out, or at least they pretend to. Because they want you to be happy, they don;t want you to grow up in a broken home. But their resolve cracks, and shatters. Falling at your feet, and finally you see the truth. As the bad leaks from every corner, pressing down on you, hurting you. And you try and fight it, try to smile so they don't see how hard this is for you, how badly they hurt you. But it's still there. And finally your own resolve breaks and you sob alone in your room. 'How could it possibly get worse than this?' You think. And that's when the dating starts. And that throws a whole new wrench in my world. watching my mother flir, saying she loves another man. And all I can think is "No! No! No! You are supposed to love Daddy!!" And I break slowly. reverting to a childlike mindset as I tremble and sob into my mothers lap. And she says the same things "It will be alright" But will it? The one stable thing I had in my life is now gone. I have no solid support to lean on. Nothing is the same. Even eating dinner is hard because my mom's spot is empty. Through all this pain and confusion, there is one single though running through my head the most. I WANT MY FAMILY BACK!!! Can you relate?