Boys-The endless cycle

Boys. One complicated situation after another with them. My current situation, I liked a guy, and he didn't like me and I accepted that. We were still close though, and yesterday he put his head in my lap to rest and I started stroking his hair. It evoked a protective, almost motherly feeling. and the feelings I thought I had gotten rid of, returned. And now I have to fight these feelings. Anyway, my luck with men has been terrible. I tend to date people just because they like me. And sometimes I like them back but sometimes I don't and I'm just with them because I want someone to want and love me. I know that's terrible. But I have this terrible need to be loved, and wanted. I want to know that someone wants me. Anyway, several break ups later I am a bit suspicious of guys. But I'm not gonna lie I know that it is my fault. And I know that I have made many mistakes, but now, All I want is an honest relationship. I want to make up for my mistakes. I hate the feeling of rejection and pain. Even when they are justified. I hate hurting, and I hate that guys can hurt me. Maybe one day I can have a good relationship? Sigh...I hope so